What not to do

How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb on a light that doesn't work? Only one: Me.

On Saturday, with the wind howling, I found myself 25 feet in the air, one hand on a ladder and the other on a light bulb, trying to change a bulb that I thought was burned out. See, the outside corner of our barn has an old light fixture that hasn't worked since we moved here. I've always assumed it just needs a new bulb, and so I would constantly eye the thing and think about changing it. It's high and I never had an extension ladder that could reach that height. At least until now.

Thanks to my grandfather, I recently took ownership of an old wooden extension ladder that I thought would be perfect for the task. (As an aside, the guy has lived in a ranch home since the 1970s. What the hell does he need a 25' extension ladder for?) I've been up on aluminum and fiberglass extension ladders and the height never really bothered me, so I thought this would be easy. I waited for the wind to settle down, set the ladder against the barn, extended the sucker and made my way to the top. That's when I realized that wood flexes. A lot. I suddenly found myself its 25 feet in the air, bouncing like I was on a trampoline.

Instead of getting down, I decided to muster the courage (stupidity?) to let go of the ladder with one hand, remove bulb one, and replace it with bulb two. At that exact moment, the wind suddenly started ripping out of the West with a fury that I thought would send me flying across the driveway and into the front lawn. Luckily it didn't. I managed to replace the bulb, promptly crawled down and counted my blessings that someone watches over me.

Then I flipped the switch on the light, saw no light and cursed the fact that nobody watches over me.